Sorry, but the Cheesecake Factory is way ahead of you (I like it...I like it)

“The point is at this time of national peril, we all have to do our part. And by do, I mean don’t. We all have to don’t our part. And there’s no country in the world more prepared for that than the USA. Turns out Americans weren’t lazy couch potatoes this whole time – all that sitting on our asses and watching TV was actually training to save the world.” —Stephen Colbert

Last night, we found out that the FBI has arrested a Coast Guard officer who was planning a rampage against democrats and journalists. When they raided his apartment they found a huge cache of ammunition and weapons. The officer in question, Christopher P. Hasson, once wrote in a letter, “I am a long time white nationalist, having been a skinhead 30 plus years.”  30 years? That is a long time. He is close to skinhead retirement. Soon he can cash in his 401KKK. In one letter Hasson wrote, “I am dreaming of a way to kill almost every last person on earth.” Sorry, but the Cheesecake Factory is way ahead of you. --Stephen Colbert

“Donald Trump’s not the only leader handling this crisis poorly, Colbert continued; the New York City mayor, Bill de Blasio, went to his local YMCA to work out on Monday morning, to much social media ridicule. Come on, Mr Mayor. Don’t you know that during an epidemic, it’s fun to stay at your H-O-M-E, Colbert said, to the tune of Y.M.C.A. Cause if you don’t, we’ll be D.E.A.D.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

He ended the speech by instructing the guests to violently storm the buffet table (they just wave you right through)

March 2021

“Over the weekend, numerous cell phone videos captured the former president delivering a barely coherent speech at a wedding, in which he toasted himself and rambled about the border, China, Iran. You know what, I said the same thing at my brother’s wedding, it was word for word. The wedding band appeared visibly bored in the background as Trump asked ‘do you miss me yet?’ It is a wedding. How do you give a drunken wedding toast when you don’t even drink?Whenever someone plays the YMCA he magically appears like Beetlejuice. He ended the speech by instructing the guests to violently storm the buffet table.” —Jimmy Kimmel

Marjorie Taylor Greene called Joe Biden’s idea of vaccine passports ‘still fascism or communism, whatever you want to call it.’ Fascism and communism are literally opposite things. It’s why Germany and the Soviet Union fought world war two, but they both have ‘ism’ in them so you know that they’re bad things. There should be a test to get into Congress. You have to take a test to be able to drive; Congress, they just wave you right through.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Trump has a new website, launched this week at 45office.com. Is he launching a website or a new version of Microsoft Word? The new website includes photos of Trump meeting with dictators like North Korea’s Kim Jong Un. Trump basically set up a fan page for himself. The page has sections to book the former president for short video greetings and events (with a section to estimate crowd size). In less than three months, Donald Trump has gone from president of the United States to bookable birthday clown.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination of 

Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

you’re finally going to get a chance to binge-watch all that toilet paper you bought (0.15 Iraq Wars)

“The big story tonight is all you people. People all over America have hunkered down in their own houses to ride out the coronavirus. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is saying this might go on for the next eight weeks. So get comfortable. And try to look on the bright side – you’re finally going to get a chance to binge-watch all that toilet paper you bought.” —Stephen Colbert

“President Trump claimed that he was doing the best he could with the cards he was dealt. Yes, some idiot disbanded Obama’s pandemic response team. We should really look into whoever was after President Obama, ’cause that guy screwed the pooch. Which, by the way, is another way the virus can spread.” —Stephen Colbert

“Trump’s not the only leader handling this crisis poorly, Colbert continued; the New York City mayor, Bill de Blasio, went to his local YMCA to work out on Monday morning, to much social media ridicule. Come on, Mr Mayor. Don’t you know that during an epidemic, it’s fun to stay at your H-O-M-E, Colbert said, to the tune of Y.M.C.A. Cause if you don’t, we’ll be D.E.A.D.” —Stephen Colbert

“The point is at this time of national peril, we all have to do our part. And by do, I mean don’t. We all have to don’t our part. And there’s no country in the world more prepared for that than the USA. Turns out Americans weren’t lazy couch potatoes this whole time – all that sitting on our asses and watching TV was actually training to save the world.” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”