Unfortunately, it was in response to the question should the church still have altar boys? (bean bag chairs)

Pope Francis said this week that sexual pleasure is a gift from God. Unfortunately, it was in response to the question should the church still have altar boys? —Michael Che

Donald Trump said that at the debates he wants both of them to stand instead of sit. So that’s the status of our presidency? Standing is a feat of strength. I think we could learn a lot more watching them both try to get out of a bean bag chair. —Michael Che

A growing number of black men feel like the Trump and Biden campaigns are not actually trying to forge new relationships and just want their votes. Yeah. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He didn’t even put his name on the check he sent Stormy Daniels (How 'Bout some help here?)

"Donald Trump is doing well in the polls. He's in second place among Republican voters. Among Tea Partiers, he's in first place. Although to be fair, in the Tea Party poll, Chuck Norris is in second place and third place is an AK-47." –Jimmy Kimmel

“Why on earth would Trump’s name be on the stimulus checks? They’re not from him. It’s not his money. He didn’t even put his name on the check he sent Stormy Daniels.” — Jimmy Kimmel

Donald Trump had a bit of a stumble yesterday. He was giving a speech in Buffalo and accidentally referred to the devastating terrorist attacks of 7/11 instead of 9/11. Of course, who can forget that fateful day when the Coke-flavored Slurpee machine broke and we were forced to settle for that blue raspberry stuff. –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Donald Trump needs a new opening line for his inauguration speech (How about some help here?)

At the Academy of Country Music Awards, Willie Nelson announced he was writing his memoirs. He said in his memoirs, he will explain how marijuana has affected his life. Here’s how it affected his life: He started writing his memoir in 1946. --Jimmy Fallon

"George W. Bush and Bill Clinton sat next to each other at the big game. Clinton congratulated UConn on its big win, while Bush gave Kentucky a 'Mission Accomplished' banner." –Jimmy Fallon

On Twitter this morning, Trump threatened Russia with missiles that are "nice and smart." And Americans were like, "Can we make one of those missiles president?" --Jimmy Fallon

Hotel and casino tycoon Steve Wynn is under fire after he said, “Rich people only like being around rich people. Nobody likes being around poor people, especially poor people.” In related news, Donald Trump needs a new opening line for his inauguration speech. –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That's God blowing a no-hitter in the bottom of the ninth (where he calls on America to NOT bomb someone)

New Rule: Just for shits and giggles John McCain must make a speech on the Senate floor where he calls on America to not bomb someone. This week McCain said we needed to bomb Syria because he's John McCain and it's a country, duh. --Bill Maher

I don't care if you are the Archbishop of York if you get to the party and you're wearing neon magenta and so is Elton John, you have to put on a sweater. --Bill Maher

Google stop calling disasters with a single survivor a miracle. When a hundred and three people die but one lives that's not a miracle. That's God blowing a no-hitter in the bottom of the ninth. --Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

If you are embarrassed by your penis size, you may opt out of being scanned (full-on sextickle)

"The White House is working on a new terror alert system. Instead of colors it's going to tell how handsie the TSA agents are going to be. Yellow stands for cop a feel. Orange stands for gentle junk swipe, and red stands for full-on sextickle." –Jimmy Fallon

"There was supposed to be a protest, but nobody opted out of the full-body scans, maybe because of the signs TSA posted: 'If you are embarrassed by your penis size, you may opt out of being scanned.'" –Jimmy Kimmel

"People lined up for days to see the new 'Harry Potter' movie. The movie is called 'Harry Potter and the Long Line of Single People.' It's just nice seeing a long line these days where nobody is getting their junk touched." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

For the first time in years, people in Kentucky can see their front yard (Is she winking?)

"Sarah Palin announced she's leaving as governor of Alaska and everybody said 'Well, what is she going to do?' She wants to host a radio show, like a daily talk show. And of course, with that, she's going to have to tell people when she's winking." --David Letterman

"But a lot is sliding around President Obama. But one program that is an unqualified success that's working, the Cash for Clunkers. Have you done this? Have you traded in your clunker? See, you can take your old gas-guzzling clunker to your GM dealer and trade it in for a new, gas-guzzling clunker. 250,000 people have already done this. For the first time in years, people in Kentucky can see their front yard." --Bill Maher

"Some people have misunderstood this concept of trading old for new. For example, today, South Carolina Governor Sanford tried to drop off his wife.” --Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”