The dolphins around Japan just cannot catch a break (Finally, a candidate who speaks to the heartland)

North Korea may soon have the technology to nuke countries other than their own because last month they tested a submarine-based missile called the "No Dong." The missile flew 300 miles before falling into the Sea of Japan. Man! The dolphins around Japan just cannot catch a break. –Stephen Colbert

“In addition to potentially attracting women and minority voters, Kamala Harris clicks with some big-money donors, too. Apparently, Wall Street is happy, Silicon Valley is happy, and Hollywood is fired up. Finally, a candidate who speaks to the heartland.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I'll raise you $100, and I'm bluffing (Can I get a to-go cup?)

After world leaders at the U.N. laughed at President Trump for claiming he has accomplished more than any president in history, Trump said last night that the line was meant to get some laughter. Oh, well, then it's kind of weird that you said this right after. [Trump] "Didn't expect that reaction, but that's OK." Man, you're a very bad liar. I would love to play poker with you. [imitates Trump] "I'll raise you $100, and I'm bluffing." --Seth Meyers

A Silicon Valley start-up called Ambrosia is looking into opening a clinic in Manhattan where people over the age of 35 could be injected with the blood of younger people to help increase their vitality. Said one customer, [photo of Rudy Giuliani] "Can I get a to-go cup? Because I'm on the move a lot and I also love blood." --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Who does she think she is, herself? (I know what turns women on)

Eric Trump appeared on CBS "This Morning" today and defended his father's ongoing feud with the family of a veteran, saying, “What I think this country needs is a fighter.” And to Donald Trump’s credit, he did bravely fight off all five of the Army’s attempts to draft him. –Seth Meyers

Hillary Clinton held fundraisers today in Silicon Valley. Said Hillary, “It’s so great to be back here in the town where I was built.” –Seth Meyers

According to Vanity Fair, the Queen of England has four alcoholic beverages every day, including a glass of champagne before bed. Champagne before bed?! Who does she think she is, herself? –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He doesn't look a day over crazy (Oh wait, that's me)

"Now that Hosni Mubarak is out of office, they're saying he's an old tyrant, decrepit, and out of touch. Oh wait, that's me." –David Letterman

"Kim Jong Il just turned 70 years old — but he doesn't look a day over crazy." –Craig Ferguson

"President Obama met with Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg in Silicon Valley yesterday. Zuckerberg said he could create new jobs. The bad news? They're all in Farmville." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

You know what's actually disrespectful of the American flag? (I also love blood)

After world leaders at the U.N. laughed at President Trump for claiming he has accomplished more than any president in history, Trump said last night that the line was meant to get some laughter. Oh, well, then it's kind of weird that you said this right after. [Trump] "Didn't expect that reaction, but that's OK." Man, you're a very bad liar. I would love to play poker with you. [imitates Trump] "I'll raise you $100, and I'm bluffing." --Seth Meyers

A Silicon Valley start-up called Ambrosia is looking into opening a clinic in Manhattan where people over the age of 35 could be injected with the blood of younger people to help increase their vitality. Said one customer, [photo of Rudy Giuliani] "Can I get a to-go cup? Because I'm on the move a lot and I also love blood." --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Wow, drinking that sounds un-sane (one pound shy of obesity)

There has been a whole lot of talk about Donald Trump’s fitness for office lately. He took a physical last Friday, and today we got the results from his doctor, Ronny Jackson. Right off the bat, the doctor broke big news: “The heart exam was normal.” So, despite all evidence, Donald Trump does have a heart. --Stephen Colbert

With the president being 6’3” and 239 pounds, according to the body mass index by the Federal Health and Human Services Department Trump is overweight and just one pound shy of obesity. One pound short of being obese — that’s awfully convenient. “Listen, Doc, I feel like this wad of cash is about one pound, why don’t you take that off my hands and weigh me again?” --Stephen Colbert

Anybody here drink water but wish you could pay more for it? Well, good news, folks, because the next big startup craze in Silicon Valley is companies offering consumers the chance to get “off the water grid” with something called “raw water,” which is water that is unfiltered, untreated, and unsterilized. Wow, drinking that sounds un-sane. --Stephen Colbert

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Hey, didn’t I just meet with you? (President Roomba)

On Saturday, President Trump had back-to-back meetings with the leaders of China and then Japan. There was an awkward moment when Trump asked the leader of Japan, “Hey, didn’t I just meet with you?” –Conan O’Brien

In Iraq, ISIS is on the verge of total defeat. You can tell ISIS is pretty much on the way out, because they’ve already been booked to appear on next season’s “Dancing With the Stars.” –Conan O’Brien

Some tech experts in Silicon Valley now believe that a robot would make a better president than a human. I don’t know about you, but at this point, I would vote for President Roomba. –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020

Hillary is 100 points ahead in Old Mexico (30-minute head start)

Trump has now agreed to give immigrants a 30-minute head start before he tries to catch them with a net. –Jimmy Kimmel

A new poll released today shows Hillary Clinton is 9 points ahead of Donald Trump in New Mexico. And 100 points ahead in Old Mexico. –Seth Meyers

Hillary Clinton held fundraisers today in Silicon Valley. Said Hillary, “It’s so great to be back here in the town where I was built.” –Seth Meyers

adjustment to his poster from "Change" to "Ka-ching!" (giant pile of garbage)

It's hard to believe that there are only seven months left in the Obama presidency. You never know how much you're going to miss a guy until you see the options. –Stephen Colbert

A lot of people are wondering what Barack Obama will do after he's president. I read today that he is thinking about becoming a venture capitalist in Silicon Valley. So, evidently, Obama is going to be going for the cash. Good for him, but he may have to make a slight adjustment to his poster from "Change" to "Ka-ching!" –Stephen Colbert

Trump is making a real effort to appear more presidential these days. Yesterday, he went to a Pennsylvania recycling plant where he unveiled part of his economic platform. And instead of wearing his trademark baseball cap, he stood in front of a giant pile of garbage. –Stephen Colbert