He reminds me of my favorite president, Abi Lincoln. Honest Abi. (waiting for Seth Rogen to come down the chimney)

Guys, it's almost 4.20. That's right, it's 4.20 eve. It's that special time of year when stoners spend the entire night waiting for Seth Rogen to come down the chimney. It's a beautiful, beautiful night. --Jimmy Fallon

Today, President Trump went to Key West for a briefing. At first, Trump was confused because he thought Key West was the guy married to Kim Kardashian. --Jimmy Fallon

Down in Florida, Trump's been spending time with Japan's Prime Minister Shinzo Abe. They had a press conference together, and it seems like Trump's still not sure how to say Shinzo Abe's name. [Clip of Trump pronouncing Abe as Abi.] “He reminds me of my favorite president, Abi Lincoln. Honest Abi.” --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

Every time Trump got it in the hole, he’d have his lawyer send it hush money (Meanwhile in Russia)

But they did play golf this morning. Japan’s Prime Minister Abe said playing with Trump was kind of weird. Every time Trump got it in the hole, he’d have his lawyer send it hush money. --Jimmy Fallon

Last night Trump and Melania had dinner with Abe and his wife. There was an awkward moment when Trump kept yelling at the waiter, "This sushi is raw! Send it back!" --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

It’s nice to meet a tech genius who didn’t spend the last two weeks testifying in Congress (tyranny vs liberty)

Letitia Wright is on the show tonight! She played a gadget expert in "Black Panther." It’s nice to meet a tech genius who didn’t spend the last two weeks testifying in Congress. --Jimmy Fallon

This week, Japan’s Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has been staying at Mar-a-Lago with Trump, and Trump said he wanted to “sneak out” and play golf with him. While Abe says he just wanted to “sneak out.” --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

You know you're not supposed to eat the whole puffer fish, right?

Trump tomorrow makes a speech in South Korea and then travels to China, which will be fun. He'll get to see where all his Trump-brand ties are made. --Jimmy Kimmel

After his visit to Japan yesterday, President Trump praised Prime Minister Abe and tweeted: "Massive military & energy orders happening, + + +!" What? It sounds like massive stroke happening, plus, plus, plus. You know you're not supposed to eat the whole puffer fish, right? –Seth Meyers

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Where am I right now? Japan? (Oopsy-daisy)

Trump then flew to a U.S. airbase outside Tokyo to deliver a strong message to America’s enemies: [plays clip] “No one — no dictator, no regime and no nation — should underestimate, ever, American resolve. Every once in a while in the past, they underestimated us. It was not pleasant for them, was it?” [imitates Trump] “Anyone who messes with us gets what’s coming to them. Just ask Japan. What’s that? Where am I right now? Japan? Sorry. Oopsy-daisy.” –Stephen Colbert

After that, it was time for Trump to meet with Japanese Prime Minister — and guy who really thought he’d be talking to Hillary Clinton right now — Shinzo Abe. –Stephen Colbert

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

If you can read this, thank the NRA (Please Grant Me Asylum)

A talking-point memo issued last week by House Republicans about their new tax cut plan referred to Americans earning $450,000 a year as low- and middle-income. This is insulting for everyone. People who are actually middle-class are like, “Are you kidding me?” And people who really do make $450,000 a year are like, “Wait, I’m not rich?” –James Corden

Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe yesterday gifted President Trump with a white version of Trump’s signature “Make America Great Again” hat, reading “Donald & Shinzo Make Alliance Even Greater.” And Melania gave HIM a special hat in return [shows photo of hat reading “Please Grant Me Asylum”]. –Seth Meyers

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Donna Brazile: The Vampire Killer! (Japan, my favorite part of China)

Trump was in Japan yesterday and plans to also visit Korea, China, Vietnam, and the Philippines — or as Trump calls them, China. “Japan, my favorite part of China.” –James Corden

During their meeting, President Trump and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe exchanged signed baseball caps. And this is real: On the baseball caps it said “Donald & Shinzo Make Alliance Even Greater.” Which sounds like the title of an American buddy cop movie after they translate it into Japanese. –James Corden

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Well, give it a couple years and it might be a documentary (Bus on fire)

President Trump said yesterday that he went to speak with Vladimir Putin at the G20 summit dinner because he was seated next to the wife of Japanese Prime Minister Abe, who spoke no English. Which means they had at least one thing in common. –Seth Meyers

Tesla Motors CEO Elon Musk claims he has gotten verbal approval to connect New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Washington with a high-speed train that runs in an airless tube. While the New York City subway just introduced brand-new rotary phones. –Seth Meyers

The creators of HBO’s “Game of Thrones” announced they are developing a new show that imagines what it would be like if the Confederacy successfully seceded from the United States. Well, give it a couple years and it might be a documentary. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020

JOKES: his identity was compromised next to the carving station (I'm just kidding!)

This week Donald Trump took Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe down to Mar-a-Lago. They were eating their dinners when they received news that North Korea had test-launched a ballistic missile. This is a provocation by a rogue nuclear state, so President Trump immediately retreated to a secure location where he could be briefed on the details. I'm just kidding! –Stephen Colbert

Other diners even posted Facebook photos of Trump and Abe looking at what one imagines are classified documents by the light of someone’s cellphone flash light. But I’m sure those documents are secure unless that cellphone flash light also somehow has a camera attached to it. –Stephen Colbert

Another guy posted Facebook photos of himself with the guy who carries around the nuclear launch codes, identifying the staffer by name. “This is Rick. Rick is the man.” Or more accurately, Rick WAS the man, until his identity was compromised next to the carving station. –Stephen Colbert

The guy has since taken down the Facebook post. And I can’t blame him. He only got 20 likes. A post about the nuclear launch codes really should have blown up. –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

JOKES: they decided to impose more sanctions and also to split a tiramisu (patience my a**)

This is the president’s second weekend in a row at Mar-a-Lago, the resort he owns in Palm Beach, where he played golf and dined with the prime minister of Japan, Shinzo Abe. So on Saturday night they got the news that North Korea test-launched an intermediate-range missile. They decided to work that out over dinner, at a table in the middle of the Mar-a-Lago dining room surrounded by members of this club. Instead of getting and up going somewhere private they continued to eat while advisers rushed back and forth to the table handing them documents alongside the busboys handing them food. They used the flashlights on their cellphones to read these documents, like old men trying to see a menu. And in the end, they decided to impose more sanctions and also to split a tiramisu. –Jimmy Kimmel

You know, if you’re going to hold a classified meeting in a public place, you do it somewhere where there aren’t any people. Like a RadioShack, for instance. –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Today is National Unfriend Day, a.k.a. NUD (crane kick from Karate Kid)

Today is National Unfriend Day, a.k.a. NUD. We started back in 2010. We try to encourage those of you on Facebook to decide which of your Facebook friends are actually friends and eliminate those who don’t make the cut. My mission is to simplify your life and to bring meaning back to the word “friend,” which has been cheapened. Also I like saying the word “NUD.” –Jimmy Kimmel

Donald Trump today had his first official meeting with a foreign leader as president-elect. He met with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe in New York. The meeting actually got off to a rocky start. Trump asked the prime minister if he could teach him how to do the crane kick from “Karate Kid.” –Jimmy Kimmel

Donald Trump is planning a victory tour of the states he won. He’s planning on holding a series of rallies starting sometime after Thanksgiving. Maybe this is where he reveals it was all a prank. –Jimmy Kimmel