Protect the establishment at all costs (Only 13 percent of his ex-wives voted for him)

"I heard that New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is very excited about the movie 'Hunger Games.' He's apparently under the impression it's about competitive eating." –David Letterman

“Newt Gingrich had a horrible week in the Iowa caucuses. Only 13 percent of his ex-wives voted for him.” –David Letterman

"They are talking about John McCain and his relationship with that hot blond lobbyist, Vicki. But I want to tell you something. After Senator Larry Craig, this is a Washington scandal the whole family can enjoy, don't you think?" --David Letterman

 

"And now on Monday, right after being sworn in, the new governor of New York, David Paterson, he announces that he cheated on his wife. I'm thinking, this guy didn't waste any time, did he?" --David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What you can't see from that level is that they're being played with a human head (American Exceptionalism)

"President Bush said today that canceling the ports deal sends a bad message to the Arab world. You know, not like invading their countries, putting them on leashes, making them masturbate, but bad." --Bill Maher

"This is what Bush said in his speech yesterday -- I'm not kidding about this. He said things are good in Iraq because when you fly over it, you can see soccer games. What you can't see from that level is that they're being played with a human head." --Bill Maher

 

"New York's new governor, David Paterson, made history this week. He's black, he's blind and he's hornier than the last guy. He hadn't taken his hand off the Bible when they swore him in before he admitted to having multiple affairs. See, this is what women don't get about the male sex drive. He was blind and he still wanted to see other people. And it's not easy having an affair when you're blind. He used to come home with lipstick on his shoes." --Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

A study from the University of No Sh*t (But it's a trick. He's blind.)

"And Bill Clinton said that when “Hillary attacks Obama it’s wrong, but when Sarah does it, it’s somehow hot.’" --Jay Leno

"And the new governor of New York, David Paterson, is speaking out. Remember, he announced he had a bunch of affairs? Well, now he says he's no longer seeing other women. But it's a trick. He's blind." --Jay Leno

"The stock market crashed this week, but market analysts are not calling it a crash. They're calling it a 'correction.' Oh, shut up! A correction. You never hear that at NASCAR. 'Oh, we had a fiery correction on turn three. Four men are dead.'" --Jay Leno

Hillary Clinton out on the campaign trail. She's very sly. You know, she's been campaigning about Black History Month, and she said today that America has come so far that a black man could one day grow up and possibly be vice president of the United States." --Jay Leno

"President Bush has a plan to get us out of this financial mess. It takes place in January when he leaves office, that's the first step." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

George W. Bush has reportedly landed a $7 million book deal (Let's try the gay thing)

"And New York Governor David Paterson announced that he will support legalizing gay marriage in New York. Well, you can understand why New York politicians are for this. Let's look at the problems. I mean, David Paterson and his affair, Eliot Spitzer with the hookers, Hillary and Bill. Straight marriages obviously don't work in New York. Let's try the gay thing." --Jay Leno

"George W. Bush has reportedly landed a $7 million book deal. The book will be about his years as president and is tentatively called 'Decision Point,' because every time Bush had to make a decision, he would point to Cheney." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

What's next, a tax on rainbows? (I've got a cage full of hamsters that are starting to look absolutely delicious)

"Obama has now addressed two of the three major issues that he said would have to be addressed in order to avert a financial disaster. The first was getting the stimulus package passed. The second was addressing the housing crisis and the third is to get all of us to eat our pets. And I've got a cage full of hamsters that are starting to look absolutely delicious." --Jimmy Kimmel

"As part of a plan to close his state's budget deficit, New York Governor David Paterson is proposing a tax on Internet pornography. You see, this is why we can't have blind governors. I mean, no offense, but of course he's going to tax pornography. If he can't enjoy it, nobody can. What's next, a tax on rainbows?" --Jimmy Kimmel

"President Obama was in Arizona today, talking about his plan to help ease the home mortgage crisis. It seemed like a strange place to announce his plan, since most of the homes in Arizona are owned by John McCain." --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He was blind and he still wanted to see other people (lipstick on his shoes)

"The good news is on YouTube, the Obama speech now is getting watched more than the clips of the pastor. The bad news is that it's still far behind the footage of Spitzer's hooker on 'Girls Gone Wild.'" --Bill Maher

"This chick, Ashley Dupre,  is everywhere. I swear to God, she won 'American Idol.' The last person to get this famous for f------ some idiot was Kevin Federline." --Bill Maher

"New York's new governor, David Paterson, he made history this week. He's black, he's blind and he's hornier than the last guy. He hadn't taken his hand off the Bible when they swore him in before he admitted to having multiple affairs. See, this is what women don't get about the male sex drive. He was blind and he still wanted to see other people. And it's not easy having an affair when you're blind. He used to come home with lipstick on his shoes." --Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

He says he's no longer seeing other women. But it's a trick. (He's blind)

"According to the latest polls out today, John McCain now has a double digit lead over the Democrats. To give you an idea how far McCain is ahead in the polls, today, Hillary offered him the vice presidency." --Jay Leno

"Well, we have former presidential candidate John Edwards on the show tonight. He ran a terrific campaign. His No. 1 issue, of course, was the poor and those who live in poverty. Or, as we call them now, Bear Sterns stockholders." --Jay Leno

"And the economy has hurt Edwards too. In fact, today, he has to get his hair cut at Fantastic Sam's." --Jay Leno

"And the new governor of New York, David Paterson, is speaking out. Remember, he announced he had a bunch of affairs? Well, now he says he's no longer seeing other women. But it's a trick. He's blind." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

Dalai Lama promises to quit the moment it stops being fun

"The Dalai Lama is in the news. The Dalai Lama is threatening to resign from his position as the spiritual leader of Tibet. When asked why, the Dalai Lama said, 'I promised myself I'd quit the moment it stopped being fun.'" --Conan O'Brien

"I'm sick at heart over the disturbing revelations about the newly installed New York Governor David Paterson. Evidently, he cheated on his wife as well. But specifically what disturbs me is where he cheated [on screen: news anchor saying, 'The Daily News says Paterson carried out the affair at the Days Inn on New York's Upper West Side']. 

The Days Inn up on Broadway and 94th? I mean, the man is blind. You know that heightens his sense of smell. I hope he at least put one of pine tree air fresheners around his neck. Governor, if you are going to indulge, indulge. Cheating at the Days Inn is like going off your diet for a tootsie roll ... at the Days Inn." --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

Do you think New York is longing for the good old days when Rudy Giuliani would just run around in women's clothes?

"So the last governor was going to hookers. The new governor admits to having an affair. Do you think New York is longing for the good old days when Rudy Giuliani would just run around in women's clothes?" --Jay Leno

"Today, Barack Obama addressed some of the more controversial comments made by his long-time minister, Jeremiah Wright. The guy said some crazy stuff, like, gays caused 9/11, Hurricane Katrina was God's revenge for our sins. Oh, I'm sorry. That's Pat Robertson. That's the other side's nutball minister. I'm sorry. You know, there's so many nutball ministers in this thing, I'm confused as to which one is on which side." --Jay Leno

 "And Elton John announced this week he's gonna sing at a big fundraiser for Hillary Clinton next month. Is that a good idea? Hillary and Elton on the stage? Let's hope they don't show up wearing the same pantsuit." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

Her name is Mable. She was a nurse in the Korean War (he's already fitting right in)

"This is historic. New York now has a new governor. Excited about that? This is getting weird. Yesterday, David Paterson was sworn in as the new governor of New York. And hours later, he admitted to having an extramarital affair. Yeah, so in other words, he's already fitting right in." --Conan O'Brien

"This is the latest on the Spitzer scandal. Details are still coming forward. It's been reported that the prostitute involved in the Eliot Spitzer scandal was once hired by Charlie Sheen, but Sheen is denying it. Yeah. Because it turns out Sheen has an air-tight alibi. He was with three other hookers at the time." --Conan O'Brien

"John McCain's daughter is in the news. John McCain's daughter says that a lot of guys don't want to date her because her dad makes her too high-profile. Yeah. That's part of the reason. It's also because McCain's daughter is 63 years old. Her name is Mable. She was a nurse in the Korean War. Lovely girl." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats