I just spent 114 years in New Jersey (the Janeway)

For his secretary of labor, President-elect Trump has picked an executive from the fast food restaurants Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s. Afterwards, Trump admitted he made the choice on an empty stomach. –Conan O’Brien

The oldest living American, a New Jersey woman, has just turned 114. At her birthday party she said, “Why are we celebrating? I just spent 114 years in New Jersey.” –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

JOKES: Quick! Rachel Maddow’s about to show a 1040 form!

Scientists believe they may have found a plant that is over a billion years old. Turns out it’s the lettuce on a Carl’s Jr. burger. –Conan O’Brien

I want to send a warm welcome to those of you watching on the East Coast, where Winter Storm Stella has not been as terrible as everyone seemed to think it would be. This was supposed to be a huge storm. Then Rachel Maddow talked about it on MSNBC for an hour and it turned out to be nothing. –Jimmy Kimmel

On Twitter yesterday Rachel Maddow wrote, “I have Trump’s tax returns, I will be revealing them on-air.” Of course everyone went nuts. This is how crazy he’s made us. We’re rushing to our TVs screaming, “Quick! Rachel Maddow’s about to show a 1040 form!” –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

JOKES: Did everyone see it? No? Lucky you, sir (drive around to the second window)

The big news out of Washington right now is the press conference Donald Trump held this morning. Did everyone see it? No? Lucky you, sir. –Conan O’Brien

This was in response to his secretary of labor withdrawing his nomination and Trump having to pick a replacement. Trump’s original pick, Andrew Puzder, is the CEO of Hardee’s and Carl’s Jr. But Puzder withdrew his nomination after it became clear he would not get confirmed. When asked what he was going to do next, Puzder said, “Please drive around to the second window and we can talk there.” –Conan O’Brien

That’s how bad things are in the Trump administration right now. Someone asks you if you’d like to work in the White House and you’re like, “No thanks, I’d rather work at Carl’s Jr.” –Conan O’Brien

As his replacement, Trump decided he needed a fast food leader with more political experience. Which is why the new nominee for labor secretary is none other than Mayor McCheese. –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Trump admitted he made the choice on an empty stomach (Godspeed, John Glenn)

For the second year in a row, Johnny Depp has been named Forbes magazine’s Most Overpaid Actor. After hearing this, Nicolas Cage said, “What do I have to do?” –Conan O’Brien

Starbucks has come out with a new Frappuccino that’s named after Pokémon Go. They’re saying it has “the taste of something you lost interest in around September.” –Conan O’Brien

For his secretary of labor, President-elect Trump has picked an executive from the fast food restaurants Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s. Afterwards, Trump admitted he made the choice on an empty stomach. –Conan O’Brien

She also knows what it's like to damage someone's organs in less than 30 seconds

Ben from Ben & Jerry's has endorsed Bernie Sanders for president. After hearing this, Chris Christie said, "After all we've been through together?" –Conan O’Brien

UFC champion Ronda Rousey will be the next model for Carl's Jr. Carl's Jr. chose Rousey because she also knows what it's like to damage someone's organs in less than 30 seconds. –Conan O’Brien