Scientists believe
they may have found a plant that is over a billion years old. Turns out it’s
the lettuce on a Carl’s Jr. burger. –Conan O’Brien
I want to send a
warm welcome to those of you watching on the East Coast, where Winter Storm
Stella has not been as terrible as everyone seemed to think it would be. This
was supposed to be a huge storm. Then Rachel Maddow talked about it on MSNBC
for an hour and it turned out to be nothing. –Jimmy Kimmel
On Twitter
yesterday Rachel Maddow wrote, “I have Trump’s tax returns, I will be revealing
them on-air.” Of course everyone went nuts. This is how crazy he’s made us.
We’re rushing to our TVs screaming, “Quick! Rachel Maddow’s about to show a
1040 form!” –Jimmy Kimmel
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