Except for that wet T-shirt contest I judged in Cancun (I guess you could do it)

"Sarah Palin is going to Haiti this weekend to deliver humanitarian aid. If there's one thing that's reassuring, it's seeing Sarah Palin above you in a helicopter." –Jimmy Fallon

Today, the Electoral College officially cast its votes for president, and Bill Clinton actually teared up after voting for Hillary, saying that he’s never cast a vote he’s been prouder of. Then he said, “Except for that wet T-shirt contest I judged in Cancun.” –Jimmy Fallon

"Jeb Bush’s brother Neil said that their mother has 'come around' to the idea of Jeb running for president in 2016. Because if there's anything that says you're qualified to be president, it's your own mom saying, 'I guess you could do it.'" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the only president I know that takes Spring Break (and more proof that God is a woman)

"President Bush is in Cancun, the only president I know that takes Spring Break." –David Letterman

"Tampa could be hit by Hurricane Isaac, and they might have to cancel or postpone the Republican National Convention. A hurricane headed directly for the Republicans – and more proof that God is a woman." –David Letterman

 

"Dick Cheney had another scare. He was taken to the hospital with shortness of breath. He was okay, he was just winded from torturing a detainee." --David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This will give him 48 hours to come up with a supporter (72 virgins and a toaster)

"Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi made a surprise visit to Iraq over the weekend. Actually, the one who was most surprised was Nancy. Bush told her she was going to Cancun." --Jay Leno

"Delaware Senator Joe Biden just announced he will officially announce that he will run for president on Wednesday. You know why Biden did this? This will give him 48 hours to come up with a supporter." --Jay Leno

"Iran is getting more involved in Iraq. Officials in Iran say they are planning to open a branch of the Iranian National Bank in Baghdad. Anyone who opens a new account at the new Baghdad branch will receive 72 virgins and a toaster." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The guy ignites more passion down there than the Virgin Mary on a piece of toast (get crazy f**ked up)

"President Bush has spent the last week touring Latin America. He spent the last three days in Mexico, which, as you know, is America's leading supplier of ... Mexicans. He held a joint news conference with Mexican President Felipe Calderon. At one point, Calderon personalized the immigration issue by discussing members of his own family who live in the United States picking vegetables. President Bush countered that members of his family sometimes go to Cancun and get crazy f**ked up." --Jon Stewart

"This week President Bush concluded his eight-day tour of South and Central America, and he was greeted by throngs of rabid admirers. The guy ignites more passion down there than the Virgin Mary on a piece of toast." --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Never thought we’d say this, but what’s the ETA on Trump’s wall?

It’s spring break! Just remember, the partying lasts a week, but the photos will cost you jobs forever. --Jimmy Fallon

Cancun, Mexico, was just named the best spring break destination, and thousands of Americans are expected to visit. And the people of Mexico were like, “Never thought we’d say this, but what’s the ETA on Trump’s wall?” --Jimmy Fallon

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html