You’re part of a military unit, not the governor of Alaska (Get a room)

"It was a tough week for conservatives because, you know, on the one hand they love the military and soldiers, but they hate Obama. So at first, FOX News was like, 'We don't want to weigh in until all the facts were distorted.'" –Bill Maher on the Bowe Bergdahl prisoner swap

"We don't trade terrorists for hostages. We trade arms for hostages. But there are of course aspects of this story that are actually controversial. Like this soldier, Bowe Bergdahl, may very well have been a deserter, which is not good. You just can’t pick up and leave in the middle of your job. You’re part of a military unit, not the governor of Alaska." –Bill Maher

Bill Maher on gun nuts who want to open carry everywhere: "Guns aren't just a tool of last resort. They're awesome. That's why people stroke them. And name them, and take pictures with them. You guys aren't just firearm enthusiasts — you're ammosexuals. And before you try and deny you have some sort of unnatural romantic relationship with your gun, consider this. You're taking it out to dinner! Because it completes you. Get a room."

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

You’re part of a military unit, not the governor of Alaska (Evangelical Jesus)

June 2014

"We don't trade terrorists for hostages. We trade arms for hostages. But there are of course aspects of this story that are actually controversial. Like this guy may very well have been a deserter, which is not good. You just can’t pick up and leave in the middle of your job. You’re part of a military unit, not the governor of Alaska." –Bill Maher

"Sarah Palin, she was all over this story, attacking this Bowe Bergdahl guy because, you know, she found out through reports, we don't really know this, that he has trouble now speaking English. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black." –Bill Maher

"Of course he has trouble speaking English. You know, he was five years around nobody else who speaks English. Sarah, what's your excuse?" –Bill Maher

"I mean, come on, cut this guy some slack. When you spend five years in captivity it can make a man do some crazy things, like when McCain picked you!" –Bill Maher

"Look, whatever happened over there in Afghanistan, we're not going to find out or really know for a while. He will spend weeks, they say, recovering and then months until he can get an appointment at the VA." –Bill Maher

"The other controversial aspect of this, and it is controversial, is that Obama did kind of did do it illegally. You are supposed to give Congress 30 days notice, but the administration says their excuse for that is that Bergdahl’s life was in immediate danger. And that’s just because the Taliban were driving a GM truck." –Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This is America, we rescue insurance companies and banks (ammosexuals)

June 2014

Bill Maher on gun nuts who want to open carry everywhere: "Guns aren't just a tool of last resort. They're awesome. That's why people stroke them. And name them, and take pictures with them. You guys aren't just firearm enthusiasts — you're ammosexuals. And before you try and deny you have some sort of unnatural romantic relationship with your gun, consider this. You're taking it out to dinner! Because it completes you. Get a room."

"Something happened this week that in the past was always completely not controversial, we brought home a prisoner of war. Bowe Bergdahl is his name, from the Afghanistan war. Of course if you saw Fox News, you saw what really happened: Obama surrendered to the Taliban." –Bill Maher

"It was a tough week for conservatives because, you know, on the one hand they love the military and soldiers, but they hate Obama. So at first, FOX News was like, 'We don't want to weigh in until all the facts were distorted.'" –Bill Maher on the Bowe Bergdahl prisoner swap

"I'm kidding, of course. They weighed in right away. And the conclusion they came to is if there is one inviolate, eternal, etched-in-stone rule, which is that we never leave an American solider behind in war, unless Obama does it and then of course it’s a stupid, horrible thing to do. Exactly right. Good presidents, people like George Bush, he sends people to war. They don't bring them home and rescue them. This is America, we rescue insurance companies and banks." –Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

People say it's the most controversial trade that has taken place since NBC traded me to CBS (stretch camels)

June 2014

"We bring back a POW, Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, from Afghanistan and to get him back we traded five Taliban thugs. And now everybody's gone crazy. People say it's the most controversial trade that has taken place since NBC traded me to CBS." –David Letterman

"These guys were down in Gitmo and now they get freed after 10 or 15 years. So now they're released and they get to fly home. And I'm thinking, if you go to the airport and you're stuck behind these guys in security, good luck." –David Letterman

"When they sent the Taliban thugs back to Qatar, they got picked up in a stretch camel." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I left CNN on for my dog, and when I came back, she was reading a newspaper (It was July 2020 when we just gave up)

June 2014

"I don't want to complicate your hatred of facial hair there, friend, but my guess is if you gave Bob Bergdahl a bandana and a duck, you'd like him just-f**king-fine." -Jon Stewart, reacting to "Fox and Friends" cohost Brian Kilmeade's criticism of the father of freed American POW Bowe Bergdahl

"Pope Francis is now telling married couples to have children, because only having pets could lead to anger or bitterness in old age. As opposed to having kids, which leads to anger AND bitterness in old age." –Jimmy Fallon

"Last Friday CNN had its worst 10 p.m. ratings of all time, with only 35,000 viewers tuning in. I left it on for my dog, and when I came back, she was reading a newspaper." –Jimmy Fallon

"CNN got just 35,000 viewers. Even worse, most of those views came from monitors left on in the background on CNN." –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

We don't want to weigh in until all the facts were distorted (the phenomenon called 'meeting him')

"Oh, poor George Bush, picking up after some unthinking creature's mess. Well, now he knows how Obama feels." --Bill Maher

"Ron Paul did not endorse Mitt Romney, and this happens to a lot of people. They say his hatred for Romney comes from a phenomenon called 'meeting him.'" –Bill Maher

"It was a tough week for conservatives because, you know, on the one hand they love the military and soldiers, but they hate Obama. So at first, FOX News was like, 'We don't want to weigh in until all the facts were distorted.'" –Bill Maher on the Bowe Bergdahl prisoner swap

"We don't trade terrorists for hostages. We trade arms for hostages. But there are of course aspects of this story that are actually controversial. Like this guy may very well have been a deserter, which is not good. You just can’t pick up and leave in the middle of your job. You’re part of a military unit, not the governor of Alaska." –Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

When you spend five years in captivity.....

"Sarah Palin, she was all over this story, attacking this Bowe Bergdahl guy because, you know, she found out through reports, we don't really know this, that he has trouble now speaking English. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black." –Bill Maher

"I mean, come on, cut this guy some slack. When you spend five years in captivity it can make a man do some crazy things, like when McCain picked you!" –Bill Maher



"Vladimir Putin's personal envoy said that allowing Finland to join NATO could lead to World War III. Yes, if there's one country that's definitely going to start World War III, it's Finland." –Seth Meyers



You’re part of a military unit, not the governor of Alaska

"It was a tough week for conservatives because, you know, on the one hand they love the military and soldiers, but they hate Obama. So at first, FOX News was like, 'We don't want to weigh in until all the facts were distorted.'" –Bill Maher on the Bowe Bergdahl prisoner swap



"Exactly right. Good presidents, people like George Bush, he sends people to war. They don't bring them home and rescue them. This is America, we rescue insurance companies and banks." –Bill Maher



"We don't trade terrorists for hostages. We trade arms for hostages. But there are of course aspects of this story that are actually controversial. Like this guy may very well have been a deserter, which is not good. You just can’t pick up and leave in the middle of your job. You’re part of a military unit, not the governor of Alaska." –Bill Maher



They got picked up in a stretch camel

"We bring back a POW, Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, from Afghanistan and to get him back we traded five Taliban thugs. And now everybody's gone crazy. People say it's the most controversial trade that has taken place since NBC traded me here to CBS." –David Letterman



"These guys were down in Gitmo and now they get freed after 10 or 15 years. So now they're released and they get to fly home. And I'm thinking, if you go to the airport and you're stuck behind these guys in security, good luck." –David Letterman



"When they sent the Taliban thugs back to Qatar, they got picked up in a stretch camel." –David Letterman