One day he’ll be sitting in the electric chair bragging about all the people who showed up to watch (Donald Trump and Bigfoot)

The ex-president seems to be less popular each day, and he cannot deal with it. Only a few supporters rallied outside the courthouse in Manhattan. Trump had been encouraging his fans to rally outside the courthouse, and is unhappy with the muted scene. While you would think Donald Trump wouldn’t be able to lie about the size of a crowd that wasn’t there, think again. On Truth Social, Trump falsely claimed that “thousands of people were turned away from the Courthouse.” Trump is drawing the biggest crowds of any president criminally indicted for having sex with a porn star in history. All Trump cares about is crowd size. One day he’ll be sitting in the electric chair bragging about all the people who showed up to watch it. —Jimmy Kimmel

The only witness on Tuesday was David Pecker, Trump’s friend and former publisher of the National Enquirer, who described a “mutually beneficial relationship” between the tabloid and Trump. It’s weird, the only faithful relationship Trump’s ever been in is with the National Enquirer. Think about how insane it is that our president had a mutually beneficial relationship with the National Enquirer. There are only two people on the planet who can say that: Donald Trump and Bigfoot. —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It will make people think that all animals taste the same (a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside)

If you're watching a parade make sure you stand in one spot. Don’t follow it, it never changes. If you don’t like the parade run in the opposite direction. You will fast forward the parade. —Mitch Hedberg

I can’t wait till my show is over because I have a roll of Lifesavers in my pocket and pineapple is next. —Mitch Hedberg

I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same. —Mitch Hedberg

I think Bigfoot is blurry that's the problem, it's not the photographer’s fault. Bigfoot is blurry and that's extra scary to me because there's a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. —Mitch Hedberg

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hunting Bigfoot with Jose Canseco and Pete Rose’s Chupacabra Safari (the gams on Rita Hayworth)

Donald Trump is keeping an eye on the potential democratic candidates for president. Reportedly, Trump sees former vice president Joe Biden as the most formidable potential rival. Now, keep in mind, next year Donald Trump will be 74, and Biden will be 77. I can imagine the debates: “Gentlemen, you have five minutes for opening statements, and an additional three minutes to ramble about the gams on Rita Hayworth. --Stephen Colbert

Cory Booker of New Jersey, well his approval rating slipped when he launched his presidential bid., which is being called the “Christie Effect.” Turns out people in New Jersey don’t like it when you try to leave them and run for higher office, which explains their state motto: “What, you think you’re better than me.” --Stephen Colbert

Jose Canseco, the former baseball star, has a new business venture. For $5,000 you can help Jose Canseco hunt Bigfoot. The people managing the operation made it clear: “Only Serious Inquiries Please.” Okay? Don’t call asking to hunt Bigfoot with Jose Canseco if you are going to treat it like some kind of joke. If you’re going to do that you can just take your business over to “Pete Rose’s Chupacabra Safari.” --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

like a giant squid having sex with Bigfoot as the ghost of Jim Morrison claps giddily (War is Swell)

"Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld were both on television last night answering questions. A very unusual occurrence. Let me see if I can put it in some kind of perspective for you. To see a giant squid, that's unusual. Certainly a Bigfoot sighting, very rare. But Rumsfeld and Cheney answering questions on the same day on television? It would be like a giant squid having sex with Bigfoot as the ghost of Jim Morrison claps giddily." --Jon Stewart

"The new prime minister of England visited New York this week. It's been reported that on Monday, Prime Minister Gordon Brown of England secretly met with Bill Clinton. By the way, it was Bill Clinton's seventh secret meeting of the day." --Conan O'Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans