The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house (Of course, my favorite, plan double-D/This factory is terrible)

Over the weekend, a man in Kentucky caught a 20-pound goldfish. The hard part will be flushing it down the toilet when it dies. Get the plunger. --Jimmy Fallon

But President Trump's got a lot going on. In the Oval Office today, he was asked if he had a backup plan if Venezuela's president doesn't step down. A reporter asked Trump, “If President Maduro stays in power, do you have a plan "B"?” Donald Trump, “I always have plan "B" and "C" and "D" and "E" and "F." Fallon as Trump, “We got Plan G. Preparation H. Of course, my favorite, plan double-D." --Jimmy Fallon

"Chinese President Xi Jinping is planning to make his first official state visit to the U.S. Although I'm worried it'll be a little awkward when he visits a school and says, 'This factory is terrible.'" –Jimmy Fallon

And tomorrow, Auntie Anne's is offering a special on heart-shaped pretzels. That's a great deal for all you hopeless romantics taking your dates to LaGuardia. --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He's only five points away from Trump calling it rigged (How do I flush a 60-pound goldfish?)

November 2022

“Meanwhile, today President Biden got his Thanksgiving vacation started in Nantucket. Yep, Biden just landed in Massachusetts for Thanksgiving. And this time he took Air Force One instead of the Mayflower.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Recent polling shows that Florida governor Ron DeSantis is closing the gap in a hypothetical 2024 matchup with former president Trump. This is how close DeSantis is. He's only five points away from Trump calling it rigged.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Today, Dr. Fauci gave his final White House briefing before his retirement. He was like, ‘This is my last day, so if you want to inject bleach, go nuts.’ Yep, Dr. Fauci is 81 years old. Today, Biden was like, ‘Congrats on your early retirement.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“I heard about a British fisherman caught a goldfish that was over 60 pounds. The goldfish was like, ‘So I went a little overboard on Thanksgiving, okay? What, everyone's a judge?’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Right now the guy has an even bigger problem. He's like, ‘How do I flush a 60-pound goldfish?’” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”