the only thing she's been working on is an escape tunnel (That chair is going to be so confused)

The White House Easter Egg Hunt is officially hosted by the first lady every year. Melania Trump joined the president on the balcony to get things going. Trump said, “I want to really thank the first lady, Melania. She worked so hard on this event.” Not a chance she did one thing to set that up. She didn't dye eggs, she didn’t fill baskets — the only thing she's been working on is an escape tunnel. --Jimmy Kimmel

I was thinking about doing something to my wife on April Fools’ Day but then I thought, you know what, tricking her into marrying me was more than enough prank. –Jimmy Kimmel

"Toronto's city council voted on whether to name a street after Nelson Mandela and whether to congratulate Canada's Olympic athletes. Both votes passed 40-1. Can you guess who that one vote against was? Rob Ford. He now says he got the buttons confused. Come on, Toronto, how could you not re-elect this guy? He's the best. And it's Wednesday. This is the first mistake he's made all week." –Jimmy Kimmel

"In mere minutes, President Clinton will be sitting in the same spot once occupied by both Honey Boo Boo and Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. That chair is going to be so confused." –Jimmy Kimmel

There's a strange new law making its way through the Arizona state legislature right now. It's a bill that, if signed into law... would ban people from posting anything (online) that would, quote, 'terrify, intimidate, threaten, harass, offend or annoy another person.' I think it means Kim Kardashian is going to prison for a very long time." –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”