the shooting stopped as soon as they found out Geraldo wasn't there (especially if people talk on them while driving)

"The new White House press spokesman is Fox News Channel's Tony Snow. This is the White House's third new face in two weeks, which breaks Kenny Rogers' old record." --Jay Leno

 

"Speaking of that, a Fox News crew was shot at on live TV as they revealed detailed information about Israeli troop movements. Now we're not 100% sure who did the shooting, but the interesting part is the shooting stopped as soon as they found out Geraldo wasn't there."  --Jay Leno

 

"Here's a remarkable story of recovery. Seems a brain-injured man who had been in a coma for the last six years is now awake -- eating and speaking with his family. In fact, you know what you call a man who has been in a coma for the last six years? Mr. President." --Jay Leno on George W. Bush

"According to a new report the San Andreas Fault right under Los Angeles is ready to explode and cause the biggest earthquake in history. Isn't that frightening? They said it could wipe Malibu off the map. You thought Bush was slow to respond to New Orleans, how long is it going to take him to save Barbara Streisand?" --Jay Leno

 "Earlier today, President Bush vetoed funding for stem cell research. See, I don't think he really understands these issues. President Bush said today, 'Stem cells may be dangerous, especially if people talk on them while driving.'" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”