"It's day nine of the government shutdown. Are you like me? Are you beginning to miss the days when we were ruled by a mad English king?" –David Letterman
"At Starbucks you can now pick up something called a duffin. A duffin is a combination of a doughnut and a muffin. I have an idea for Starbucks: cheap coffee – 'Choffee.' Governor Chris Christie said: 'Big deal, call me when Starbucks is combining cake and pie.'" –David Letterman
"During a press conference yesterday, President Obama said that Congress needs to raise the debt ceiling because there aren't any other quote 'rabbits in our hat.' Plus, they're still tired from their last trick, where they made thousands of jobs disappear." –Jimmy Fallon
"Yesterday, Iran's President Hassan Rouhani said he wants the Iranian people to stop chanting 'Death to America' because he thinks it's too harsh of a statement. Then the Iranian people were like, 'Paper cuts to America?" Jimmy Fallon
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
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