caverns filled with fossil fuel and strategically located inside Rudy Giuliani’s head (We’re richer than Jesus!)

November 2021

“President Biden announced that he would release 50 million barrels of oil from the strategic reserve in an effort to lower gas prices. For those who don’t know, the strategic reserve is a series of caverns filled with fossil fuel and strategically located inside Rudy Giuliani’s head.” —Stephen Colbert

“This is great news for me. I was just thinking of getting my wife a barrel of oil for Christmas.” —James Corden

“According to the president, this is the largest release from the reserve in U.S. history. And in response, a spokesman for the American Petroleum Institute released this statement: [Imitating an oil tycoon] ‘Oil! Black gold! Sweet dinosaur jelly! West Texas dirt milk, we’re rich! We’re richer than Jesus!’” —Stephen Colbert

“It’s not clear if this is gonna work. Energy experts have consistently said such a release would do little to lower prices at the pump. It’s also not the best look right after you come back from a climate conference: ‘We must end our addiction to fossil fuels. What’s that? Gas is $3.50 a gallon? Let the rivers be choked with crude oil and the carcasses of pelicans!’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”