“I think it’s Wednesday. It’s hard to tell, because every day feels like you’re being humped.” —Stephen Colbert
“Donald Trump for the first time at least sounds like he’s afraid of this virus. And if he’s taking it seriously, then we should be really scared. Because I mean, this guy takes nothing seriously. This is the same dude who stared at an eclipse like it was a magic eye painting. The same dude who sang Hakuna Matata when he assassinated an Iranian general. The same dude who responded to a hurricane with a paper towel three-point contest. So this is a side of Donald Trump we don’t often get. I haven’t seen Trump this somber since Maury told him that he was Eric’s father.” —Trevor Noah
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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