three quarters of all Americans are descended directly from Arnold Schwarzenegger (but in his defense, beer goes great with cigarettes)

"It's a great honor to be selected as the 'Celebrity Apprentice.' It's like being chosen as a Schwarzenegger maid." –David Letterman

"Last year George W. Bush made $15 million from speaking engagements. He comes on stage and introduces the goddesses. Then he goes into a 90-minute rant about Chuck Lorre." –David Letterman

"President Obama just kicked off a 6-day European tour. It's terrifying because this means Joe Biden is in charge." –Craig Ferguson

"You can use genealogy to trace your ancestors now. In 100 years, scientists will be able to tell that three quarters of all Americans are descended directly from Arnold Schwarzenegger." –Craig Ferguson 

"I'm glad President Obama is reconnecting with his roots in Ireland. When people here in L.A. do that, it means they go a month without getting their hair colored." –Craig Ferguson 

"President Obama visited a bar in Ireland and drank Guinness. I know it's not great for kids to see the president drinking alcohol, but in his defense, beer goes great with cigarettes." –Craig Ferguson 

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”