I wasn't anywhere near that dude

At last night’s Republican debate on CNN, one of the big moments was when Jeb Bush admitted to smoking marijuana during high school. Marijuana denied having anything to do with Jeb Bush. “I wasn't anywhere near that dude.” –Jimmy Fallon

I saw that David Allan Coe, the writer of the famous country song “Take This Job and Shove It,” was charged with tax evasion and owes the IRS almost half a million dollars. Which explains his new song called "Uh, Yeah, About That Job..." –Jimmy Fallon

NASA is working to create a new channel that broadcasts live video from space in super-high resolution. Also super-high: the people watching the NASA space channel. –Jimmy Fallon