Earlier
tonight was the big season opener for the NFL, where the Patriots played their
first game since the “Deflategate” scandal. I don’t want to say the refs spent
a long time examining balls, but today, they were hired by the TSA. –Jimmy
Fallon
The
Surgeon General said more Americans should start going on walks. Then to
everyone's surprise, he added, "Even if you're just going out to have a
smoke." –Jimmy Fallon
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