Even
billionaire Donald Trump is funding his campaign with a store. Which is great
because where else could you find something with his name on it? –Stephen
Colbert
You're
not just buying useless crap, you're doing your patriotic duty to buy useless
crap. As Rand Paul says of his own online merchandise, “Thomas Jefferson would
be proud.” So much better than Rand's original slogan, “Impress a slaveholder!”
–Stephen Colbert
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