even people in New Hampshire can't tell the difference between their state and Vermont

I've been touched by the outpouring of support from other late night shows. Jimmy Kimmel bought the whole staff lunch. Seth Meyers sent us guac and chips. Conan, John Oliver, Larry Wilmore and the "Daily Show" all sent us desserts. Then, later tonight, James Corden is throwing us a cocktail party. Any other shows thinking of sending us something, please make it a box of sweatpants. –Stephen Colbert

At the beginning of the summer, everyone thought Hillary Clinton was inevitable. But right now, in New Hampshire, she's 11 points behind Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders, proving that even people in New Hampshire can't tell the difference between their state and Vermont. –Stephen Colbert