My future Russians

Jeb Bush said last week that Democrats often win the black vote because they tell people “we’ll take care of you with free stuff.” Whereas Democrats actually win the black vote because Republicans keep saying stuff like that. –Seth Meyers

Russian President Vladimir Putin also addressed the U.N. General Assembly today. Unfortunately he addressed them as “My future Russians.” –Seth Meyers

Hillary Clinton is by far the favorite to win the Democratic nomination even though her presidential campaign has had more than its share of bumps in the road, from the Benghazi controversy to her private email server to the persistent allegation that she's less charismatic than a 70-year-old socialist who doesn't own a phone. –Stephen Colbert