The largest, loudest display of fireworks in DC history (Always carry a potato wrapped in foil to a party)

The largest, loudest display of fireworks in DC history is set to go off on July 4th, beating the time Bill told Hillary, "I didn't know she was 17.” —Greg Gutfeld 

A Catholic priest says he saw a woman hurl a man 15 feet in the air like a rag doll during an exorcism. He was later told he accidentally walked in on the Obama's honeymoon. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

For starters, every episode will end with one of the Teletubbies being executed (It's the same technology they use for John McCain)

"North Korea is negotiating to broadcast the Teletubbies. They have to make changes for North Korean TV. For starters, every episode will end with one of the Teletubbies being executed." –Craig Ferguson

"The Murdochs testified before parliament and did something that not many powerful people would have the courage to do: They blamed others." –Craig Ferguson

"It turns out the Chinese faked part of the opening ceremonies. They made the fireworks look more lively. It's the same technology they use for John McCain." --Craig Ferguson

"Rumors are that Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are going to film a reality show. Sarah Palin says she can't wait to start shooting, but that's totally unrelated." –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey! This is America! We measure things in Delawares.

Donald Trump did more things today. For instance, he traveled to North Dakota to talk tax reform. And by "talk tax reform," I mean rambled incoherently until they turned his mic off. –Stephen Colbert

As Trump so sensitively mentioned, Texas is still dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey. And they will be for years. Meanwhile, another hurricane, Irma, is bearing down on Florida. It's the largest Atlantic hurricane ever reported. Experts say it's the size of France. Hey! This is America! We measure things in Delawares. –Stephen Colbert

Remember the 2016 campaign? If you really want to go back and relive every excruciating detail, good news — Hillary Clinton has a new book, "What Happened," which is better than the original title, "Anybody Wanna Buy a Barge Full of Unused Fireworks?" –Stephen Colbert

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern #repealreplacerepublicans

Trump is planning to feed Jeb Bush to his dragons (a somber holiday)

Last year, two NFL players lost fingers setting off fireworks. That's not a joke. A player for the Buccaneers and a player for the Giants blew their fingers off, which is awful. But it's a good reminder, if you go play with fireworks, play soccer. –Jimmy Kimmel

Not only is July Fourth a dangerous weekend for athletes, it's the scariest time of year for mannequins. Every news channel, they get the mannequins out of Macy's and Sears, and blow their limbs off, all in the name of fireworks safety. It's a somber holiday for them. –Jimmy Kimmel

Donald Trump says what they're doing is disgraceful and there should be consequences for it. What consequences? I don't know. Maybe he is planning to feed Jeb Bush to his dragons. –Jimmy Kimmel