That's 21 lobbyists for every member of congress (is that too much to ask?)

January 2022

“In our dumb system, there was nothing stopping Stephen Breyer from just changing his mind and sticking around on the Supreme Court, and we all just have to nod and pretend that having a forever job this important isn’t totally fucking crazy. I mean, what about an employee review every decade, is that too much to ask? 

Whoever came up with the idea of lifetime appointments must’ve been, to quote Biden on a hot mic, a ‘stupid son of a bitch.’ As for GOP opposition to any Biden nominee, citing whatever historical precedent, there’s no reason to ever take seriously anything these guys say ever again. 

They blocked President Obama’s supreme court nominee eight months before an election, and then rushed to confirm Amy Coney Barrett eight days before an election. Now they’re saying even when it’s not an election year, they won’t confirm a Democratic nominee. 

Next, Mitch McConnell’s going to claim the constitution says ‘the Senate can’t confirm a nominee when a Democrat is president in a month ending in Y when it’s alternate side parking before or after Labor Day in a year when Tom Brady isn’t in the Super Bowl.’” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry

 

It doesn’t matter — just put on these robes (ask the Walgreens guy to unlock the shampoo shelf)

January 2022

“On Thursday, Justice Stephen Breyer officially announced his plans to retire from the Supreme Court. President Biden reaffirmed his campaign promise to nominate a Black woman to the court, because he cares deeply about representation and winning Georgia.” —Trevor Noah

“After White House press secretary Jen Psaki said yesterday that President Biden will stand by his commitment to appoint a Black woman to the Supreme Court, a Fox News panel criticized the administration’s selection process. I’ll take a wild guess and say they have exactly two problems with a Black woman.” —Seth Meyers

“Joe Biden is going to pick a Black woman who is also qualified. These people act like Biden is just going to show up at the mall and be, like, ‘Yo, Shaniqua, come with me.’ ‘Uh, my name is Regina.’ ‘It doesn’t matter — just put on these robes, I need help with abortion.’” —Trevor Noah

“No, she’s going to be qualified — and why is that a bad thing? Why not make the Supreme Court a little more representative of the country it represents? I mean, their rulings impact the lives of every person in the country, so it would be nice to have at least one justice on there who’s had to ask the Walgreens guy to unlock the shampoo shelf.” —Trevor Noah

“At the same time, I also hear what the Fox people are saying, you know? It shouldn’t matter whether you’re Black or white, this position should only go to the most qualified judge who also thinks that guns are people.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry  

 

Two options: either retire or play quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (When’s nap time?)

January 2022

“The big news on Wednesday was Justice Stephen Breyer’s plan to retire from the Supreme Court. Yep, at 83, Breyer only has two options: either retire or play quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Yep, Breyer said he wants to retire so he can spend more time looking like a wise shopkeeper from a Hallmark Christmas movie.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Yeah, it was clear Breyer has been thinking about this. During the last case, the only question he asked was, ‘When’s nap time?’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Unfortunately for Breyer, this is the only job in which you wear less robes after you retire. I hope he knows that.” —James Corden

“Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer is reportedly planning to retire at the end of the current term, which would allow President Biden to appoint a successor. Said Mitch McConnell, ‘With only three years left in his term? I don’t think so.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry

 

Hey Clarence! How’s your weekend, b*tch? (Well, I agree with the sat there 24 hours a day part)

January 2022

“I recall a time when people from both sides of the aisle come together to say Peter Doocy is stupid, such as the late John McCain, a GOP senator from Arizona who once replied to Doocy, ‘why would you say something that stupid?’ Eric Trump, who appeared on Fox News – the closest he can get to a Zoom with his dad – to complain about Biden not being ‘present’ as president. My father sat there 24 hours a day and fought for the United States’ best interests. Well, I agree with the sat there 24 hours a day part, but you forgot to mention: on the toilet, pleasuring himself to Lou Dobbs. You left the key part out! And he suggested Biden, who has promised to nominate a black woman to the supreme court, pick Anita Hill to replace Stephen Breyer. How good would that be? She marches in, sits on the bench right next to Clarence Thomas, cracks open a can of Coke. She’s like, ‘Hey Clarence! How’s your weekend, bitch?’” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry 

 

Nobody wants to be exploited anymore (focusing more on his ice cream brand)

January 2022

“This is big, y’all. Justice Breyer is retiring. Yeah, probably to focus more on his ice cream brand.” —Trevor Noah

“It’s been reported that Stephen Breyer will retire from the supreme court. Democrats have been relentlessly pestering Breyer to step down so that they can replace him before Mitch McConnell comes back into power and makes a rule that all supreme court justices have to have been platinum QAnon members in the past. Honestly, no one should be surprised by this news, right? It probably isn’t fun being hounded all day by people screaming at you to retire. Think about it, everywhere this guy goes, people are telling him he should be retiring. He’s probably in line at the grocery store and people are like ‘retire, bitch!’ He’s at Starbucks, the name on the cup is ‘Retire Bitch.’ While many Democrats are relieved at the 83-year-old justice’s retirement. I feel like the only winner here will be Mitch McConnell. Maybe I’m just scarred. Because even though the Republicans don’t control the Senate, don’t be shocked when Mitch still makes it happen. He’s just going to come out like, ‘It’s a longstanding Senate tradition that we cannot confirm a supreme court justice in a year when there’s a new season of Ozark on Netflix.’” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry

 

The only way Joe’s gonna kill you is by repeatedly telling the same story (Youchers)

January 2022

“The tension is sky-high over Russia’s massing of troops on the border with Ukraine. So the world’s two greatest nuclear powers are toe-to-toe in a high-stakes staring contest, but not everyone is pulling for our guy. There is a new poll which found 62% of Republicans think Putin is a ‘stronger leader’ than Biden. What is wrong with you? Stop rooting for the other team! Haven’t you seen Rocky IV, From Russia With Love, Air Force One, Rambo First Blood Part II, Golden Eye, The Hunt for Red October? Come on! I’m not sure what the Republican criterion for toughness is. It is true that Biden hasn’t murdered anyone with a cup of tea laced with polonium, a noose, point-blank shootings or by chucking them out of windows. The only way Joe’s gonna kill you is by repeatedly telling the same story.” —Stephen Colbert

“This comes after a yearlong, high-pressure campaign to get Stephen Breyer to step down while Democrats still have control of the Senate, which included a billboard truck that drove around Washington, D.C., that said ‘Breyer, retire.’ Youchers, that has got to sting. That’s like if I walked up to the Ed Sullivan Theater and the building said, ‘Quit.’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”