I have to get back to you on this one (blue dress)

So, it's official. The UFC will host the first ever White House fight on July 4th. Yeah. It's the first violent beatdown to take place at the White House since Hillary discovered the blue dress. —Greg Gutfeld

Meanwhile, the Democrats also want to participate. And so far, they've already suggested these bouts. Jasmine Crockett versus a book. Jerry Nadler versus soap. Rashida Tlaib versus a razor. And JB Pritzker versus a narrow hallway. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he can’t close the border, and he can’t open a bottle of Tylenol (a Freudian Confession)

“Say what you want about President Biden, but he takes immediate action on the border crisis five months before an election.” — Jimmy Fallon

“I feel bad for Biden — he can’t close the border, and he can’t open a bottle of Tylenol.” — Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That's three lies in four words. That's a new record! (open, transparent, and innocent)

One thing President Trump definitely did watch was his son Junior's interview with Sean Hannity last night on Fox News. Trump said his son was "open, transparent, and innocent." That's three lies in four words. That's a new record! –Jimmy Kimmel

"President Bush's approval rating is not good. A new Gallup poll puts it at just 36% which is a new low for his presidency. He is just slightly more popular than herpes now." --Jimmy Kimmel

"But all kidding aside, and in fairness to Dick Cheney, every five years he has to shed innocent blood or he violates his deal with the devil." --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I have to get back to you on this one (then he winked so hard his neck got smooth)

In honor of World Emoji Day, Apple has announced it's adding cupcake, kangaroo, and lettuce symbols. A cupcake, a kangaroo, and lettuce, or as Outback Steakhouse calls it, a salad. --Seth Meyers

"Brazil's coach resigned following the country's historic 7-1 loss in the World Cup last week. He says he wants to spend more time focusing on not being murdered." –Seth Meyers

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell today warned Russia to not meddle in the upcoming midterm elections, and then he winked so hard his neck got smooth. --Seth Meyers

President Trump claims that he meant to say "I don't see any reason why it wouldn't be Russia" who meddled in our election. And Melania is now saying that at their wedding she meant to say, "I don't." --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

live testimony from the House subcommittee on paint drying (True Welfare Royalty)

February 2021

“Today, 44 Republican Senators voted that the trial was unconstitutional, because they don’t want to have this trial. Well, tough nuts. The country’s like a bar. The last president puked in the bathroom. Somebody’s got to clean it up, or we can’t use the bathroom anymore. Oh, you’re the ones who decided to be a busboy. So grab a mop and do your job. But if you can’t find a mop, use Rand Paul’s hair.” —Stephen Colbert

“You know what they say, gentlemen: see no evil, hear no evil makes you seem really evil.” —Stephen Colbert

“Trump’s attorney was so rambling, there were times it seemed like his plan was to put everybody to sleep, then grab the Articles of Impeachment and just tiptoe out. Even C-SPAN tried to save their ratings by switching to live testimony from the House subcommittee on paint drying.” —Stephen Colbert

“[Imitating Trump’s attorney] I am the lead prosecutor — sorry, the defense — here to prove the president is guilty — sorry, innocent — and should be sent to jail — sorry, to Mar-a-Lago. Wow. I guess Freud’s mom’s got my penis, I mean, cat’s tongue!’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”