Doritos, Cheetos, and Funyuns combined (Kissing Booth/Biting Booth)

Americans spent $5.4 billion on legal marijuana last year, which is more than they spent on Doritos, Cheetos, and Funyuns combined. Stoners would respond, but they were busy thinking about Doritos, Cheetos, and Funyuns combined. –Jimmy Fallon

A couple in Orlando who ordered plastic storage bins on Amazon got a delivery filled with 65 pounds of weed. They were like, “Wow, Amazon Prime is even better than we thought.” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Green Eggs, Hold the Ham (I have something for your fancy backup camera)

A company is currently working with scientists to develop a marijuana breathalyzer. The way it works is it measures the level of Funyuns on your breath. –Conan O’Brien

Chris Christie said that if elected president, he would not rule out waterboarding. Then he said, "Not for prisoners, but as a way to prepare chicken." –Conan O’Brien

For the first time ever a copy of Dr. Seuss's book The Cat in the Hat came out in Yiddish. They're also coming out with another Yiddish Dr. Seuss book called Green Eggs, Hold the Ham. --Conan O’Brien 3/16/2004

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So congratulations to his replacement, Chumbawamba (this year’s most popular baby name)

Opera star Andrea Bocelli has backed out of performing at Donald Trump’s inauguration after pressure from his fans. So congratulations to his replacement, Chumbawamba. –Conan O’Brien

Health officials say there’s a new trend of women using marijuana during their pregnancy. Which explains why this year’s most popular baby name is Funyuns. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

JOKES: I hereby rule that they’re both awesome

Guys, it is the first day of February. Which of course is the shortest month, with just 28 days — as opposed to January, which felt like it had 200. –Jimmy Fallon

Last night, President Trump nominated Colorado Appeals Judge Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court. That’s right, he’s from Colorado. Which explains his most famous case, Regular Funyuns v. Flamin’ Hot Funyuns: “I hereby rule that they’re both awesome.” –Jimmy Fallon

We’re now learning a little bit more about Neil Gorsuch. For instance, I read that he actually has a barn where he raises horses, chickens, and goats. That experience will come in handy when he spends the rest of his life side-stepping all the crap in Washington. –Jimmy Fallon