JOKES: I hereby rule that they’re both awesome

Guys, it is the first day of February. Which of course is the shortest month, with just 28 days — as opposed to January, which felt like it had 200. –Jimmy Fallon

Last night, President Trump nominated Colorado Appeals Judge Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court. That’s right, he’s from Colorado. Which explains his most famous case, Regular Funyuns v. Flamin’ Hot Funyuns: “I hereby rule that they’re both awesome.” –Jimmy Fallon

We’re now learning a little bit more about Neil Gorsuch. For instance, I read that he actually has a barn where he raises horses, chickens, and goats. That experience will come in handy when he spends the rest of his life side-stepping all the crap in Washington. –Jimmy Fallon