Instead of earthquakes, they’re now called “li’l shakeroos.” (Our idiot son-in-law)

According to reports, officials at the Department of Agriculture told staffers to avoid the term “climate change” in their research and to use terms like “weather extremes” instead. And instead of earthquakes, they’re now called “li’l shakeroos.” –Seth Meyers

It was announced today that first lady Melania Trump's parents are now officially U.S. citizens. They passed their citizenship test when they were asked, “Who's the president of the United States?” and they replied, “Our idiot son-in-law.” --Seth Meyers

“During her opening statement in tonight’s Democratic debate, Senator Elizabeth Warren said that President Trump disgraces the office of the president every single day, which isn’t fair, because he’s really only in the office like twice a week.” --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The Little Engine That Could, Thanks to His High-Fiber Diet (I’m sure there’s a perfectly treasonable explanation)

President Trump’s son-in-law and adviser Jared Kushner reportedly met with executives from a Russian bank that was under U.S. sanctions during the 2016 presidential election. But I’m sure there’s a perfectly treasonable explanation. –Seth Meyers

"The official presidential candidate for the Ukrainian Internet Party is a man in a Darth Vader costume. Not to be confused with the president of Russia, who is Darth Vader in a man costume." –Seth Meyers

"The Department of Agriculture is encouraging grandparents to read their grandchildren bedtime stories about nutrition. Stories like 'Goodnight Kale,' 'James and the Giant Organic Peach,' and 'The Little Engine That Could, Thanks to His High-Fiber Diet.'" –Seth Meyers

A new alarm-clock app has launched that wakes users up with unconventional sounds like shattering glass, gunshots, and women screaming. Unfortunately, everyone in New York has learned to sleep through it. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

OK, let us know when it starts affecting Twinkies and Hot Pockets (OK.....Just one more episode)

March 2014

"The White House says it's surpassed its goal for people enrolled in Obamacare. It's amazing what you can achieve when you make something mandatory and fine people if they don't do it, and keep extending the deadline for months." –Jimmy Fallon

"U.N. experts are saying that climate change could start threatening the world's supply of fruits and vegetables. Then Americans said, 'OK, let us know when it starts affecting Twinkies and Hot Pockets.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"The Secret Service arrested a man today after he tried to scale a fence at the White House. They reportedly said to the man, 'Sorry, but you still have two more years, Mr. President.'" –Seth Meyers

"The official presidential candidate for the Ukrainian Internet Party is a man in a Darth Vader costume. Not to be confused with the president of Russia, who is Darth Vader in a man costume." –Seth Meyers

"The Department of Agriculture is encouraging grandparents to read their grandchildren bedtime stories about nutrition. Stories like 'Goodnight Kale,' 'James and the Giant Organic Peach,' and 'The Little Engine That Could, Thanks to His High-Fiber Diet.'" –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

One minute you're hunting Osama bin Laden and the next you're trying to outsmart Papa John (Uh, mammal?)

February 2014

"The Department of Agriculture is recalling thousands of boxes of Hot Pockets because they contain meat that wasn't properly inspected. When they heard that, people who like to eat Hot Pockets said, 'I inspected it when I took it out of the box. Looked good to me.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"When asked what kind of meat they use, a spokesman for Hot Pockets said, 'Uh, mammal?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"A team of military researchers is developing a pizza that can stay edible for three years. It's been a weird couple of years for the military. One minute you're hunting Osama bin Laden and the next you're trying to outsmart Papa John." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

instead of earthquakes, they’re now called “li’l shakeroos” (grueling golf at Mar-a-Lago)

According to reports, officials at the Department of Agriculture told staffers to avoid the term “climate change” in their research and to use terms like “weather extremes” instead. And instead of earthquakes, they’re now called “li’l shakeroos.” –Seth Meyers

As of Friday, Donald Trump is on a 17-day vacation at his golf club in Bedminster, New Jersey. He’s there to relax after months of grueling golf at Mar-a-Lago. –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #repealreplacerepublicans #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern @BrandNew535 @justicedems 

James and the Giant Organic Peach

"Officials in Finland say the Russian army is now conducting drills on its border. Or as Vladimir Putin calls that, 'window shopping.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"The official presidential candidate for the Ukrainian Internet Party is a man in a Darth Vader costume. Not to be confused with the president of Russia, who is Darth Vader in a man costume." –Seth Meyers



"The Department of Agriculture is encouraging grandparents to read their grandchildren bedtime stories about nutrition. Stories like 'Goodnight Kale,' 'James and the Giant Organic Peach,' and 'The Little Engine That Could, Thanks to His High-Fiber Diet.'" –Seth Meyers