One minute you're hunting Osama bin Laden and the next you're trying to outsmart Papa John (Uh, mammal?)

February 2014

"The Department of Agriculture is recalling thousands of boxes of Hot Pockets because they contain meat that wasn't properly inspected. When they heard that, people who like to eat Hot Pockets said, 'I inspected it when I took it out of the box. Looked good to me.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"When asked what kind of meat they use, a spokesman for Hot Pockets said, 'Uh, mammal?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"A team of military researchers is developing a pizza that can stay edible for three years. It's been a weird couple of years for the military. One minute you're hunting Osama bin Laden and the next you're trying to outsmart Papa John." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Uh, mammal?

"Making his first visit to our show tonight is Bill O'Reilly. Bill is here to promote his book 'Killing Jesus.' I'm going to have to tell him someone else sold a book on that subject and it sold quite well." –Jimmy Kimmel 



"When asked what kind of meat they use, a spokesman for Hot Pockets said, 'Uh, mammal?'" –Jimmy Fallon



"Today at the Olympics the Russian men's hockey team, which was favored, was eliminated by Finland. Then an hour later, the Russian men's hockey team was eliminated by Putin." –Conan O'Brien