“I read that The White House is giving federal agencies 30 days to remove TikTok from all government devices. Every government employee was like, ‘I guess I have no choice’ and gave their boss 30 days' notice. This is devastating. I mean, what is TikTok without Senator Chuck Grassley?” —Jimmy Fallon
“I saw that Wendy's is going to start selling their chili in a can at grocery stores. It's perfect if you've always thought the chili at Wendy’s was too fresh. Under ingredients, it just says, ‘Ignorance is bliss.’” —Jimmy Fallon
“You know, it doesn't matter if we agree on how the pandemic started. The important thing is, we all agree to pretend it's over.” —Jimmy Fallon
“A man in California filed a lawsuit claiming that he won the $2 billion Powerball lottery, but the ticket was stolen from him. Then a million Americans were like, ‘Yeah, already tried it, pal. I mean, come on.’ And he was like, ‘Yeah, I also lost a bag of diamonds, too.’ Experts say his odds of winning the lawsuit are 300 million-to-1.” —Jimmy Fallon
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
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