“According to reports, the Treasury Department has ordered that President Trump’s name will be printed on coronavirus relief checks, which would be the first time he’s ever put his name on something helpful.” —Seth Meyers
“That’s right, President Trump’s name will reportedly be printed on the front of paper checks for coronavirus relief payments, which will be the first time the president’s name appeared on an I.R.S. refund. President Trump’s name, however, still has yet to appear on a check to the I.R.S.” — Seth Meyers
“Why on earth would his name be on the stimulus checks? They’re not from him. It’s not his money. He didn’t even put his name on the check he sent Stormy Daniels.” — Jimmy Kimmel
“Trump says he’ll stop all funding to the World Health Organization until a review has been conducted. Stopping funding to an organization that handles pandemics in the middle of a pandemic is like slashing your own tires because you’re mad you woke up late for work.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“So far, he’s blamed this on Obama, the governors, the media, the W.H.O. — has he blamed it on the Mexicans yet? No? OK, he’ll get to that.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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