Just like you ran into Vietnam, Cadet Bone Spurs? (Shut up, we need this!)

You guys, it's Presidents' Day. Happy Presidents' Day, you guys. This morning, President Trump ran downstairs in his pajamas looking for presents under the tree. --Jimmy Fallon

Of course, lots of stores had Presidents' Day sales. In fact, today Trump bought 2,000 miles of mattresses for the border. Well, he saw a deal. That’s sweet. --Jimmy Fallon

Well, you guys, McDonald's shamrock shake is back. Some people said, "Eh, it's a little early." While Americans are like, "Shut up, we need this!" --Jimmy Fallon

Check this out. The other day, a woman gave birth to a baby boy on a JetBlue flight. It was stressful, but now JetBlue can finally say that they had an early arrival. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”