I'll have the Spanish omelet, hold the Spanish (That's amazing when you can get to that level)

It's Presidents' Day. And we've had so many great presidents in this country. Let's see how they stack up against our current president. I'll show you what I mean. For instance, President Lincoln won the Civil War. President Trump thinks The Avengers won the Civil War. And finally, President Monroe was wounded during the Revolutionary War. President Trump was wounded watching "Saturday Night Live." --Jimmy Fallon

On Friday, President Trump declared a national emergency. Then he immediately went on vacation to Florida. While he was at his golf club, a photo of him standing at the omelet bar went viral. He was like (Fallon as Trump), "I'll have the Spanish omelet, hold the Spanish." --Jimmy Fallon

Check this out. Over the weekend, Trump's pick to be the next U.N. ambassador withdrew herself from consideration. You’ve got to hand it to Trump -- his administration is running so smoothly, that his staff now is now firing themselves. That's amazing when you can get to that level. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Just like you ran into Vietnam, Cadet Bone Spurs? (Shut up, we need this!)

You guys, it's Presidents' Day. Happy Presidents' Day, you guys. This morning, President Trump ran downstairs in his pajamas looking for presents under the tree. --Jimmy Fallon

Of course, lots of stores had Presidents' Day sales. In fact, today Trump bought 2,000 miles of mattresses for the border. Well, he saw a deal. That’s sweet. --Jimmy Fallon

Well, you guys, McDonald's shamrock shake is back. Some people said, "Eh, it's a little early." While Americans are like, "Shut up, we need this!" --Jimmy Fallon

Check this out. The other day, a woman gave birth to a baby boy on a JetBlue flight. It was stressful, but now JetBlue can finally say that they had an early arrival. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”