scientists conducted the study by looking out a window (A word to the 1%)

Britney Spears wrote a letter to Christina Aguilera in which she says he wants to end their ongoing feud. I'm not sure Britney's letter is gonna work because it starts out “Dear skank.” --Conan O’Brien 1/12/2005

According to a brand-new scientific study that just came out more than 90 percent of the diet plans used by Americans do not work. The American scientists conducted the study by looking out a window. --Conan O’Brien 1/11/2005

Pakistani officials said today that they are close to capturing Osama bin Laden's personal doctor. Not only that they're hot on the trail of his dentist and his Pilates instructor. --Conan O’Brien 3/19/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”