At
a Donald Trump rally the other night, a supporter shouted out the Nazi salute
"Sieg Heil!" Trump immediately responded, "There is no place for
that here — save it for my inauguration." –Conan O’Brien
In
Florida, a 98-year-old man shot a hole-in-one. The 98-year-old was shocked,
mostly because he had no idea he was playing golf. –Conan O’Brien
Ted
Cruz said he would carpet bomb ISIS until the sand glowed. When it was pointed
out ISIS was centered in a city with a major population, he said carpet bombs
should only target ISIS, which means Ted Cruz has invented a carpet bomb that
only kills the bad guys, which is remarkable. I don't know why we didn't think
of that before. –Jimmy Kimmel
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