from the comfort of your brand new full-body cast

Paul Ryan has become the first Speaker of the House in over 90 years to grow a beard. Meanwhile, Marco Rubio is the first presidential candidate to sport a chocolate milk mustache. –Conan O’Brien

If you went shopping on black Friday, I assume you are watching this on a brand new 60-inch flat screen from the comfort of your brand new full-body cast. –James Corden

I don't think people who participate in black Friday are there for the bargains. It seems like they go for a socially acceptable excuse to punch a stranger in the face. –James Corden

I personally am so excited about cyber Monday. I've been sleeping in a tent outside my computer since Friday. –James Corden