"Nice to have you all
here. As you all know, George Bush is no longer president, so there will be no
monologue." --Jay Leno
"Yesterday, when President
Bush returned to Texas, people who were there to greet him were holding up
signs that said, 'You made us so proud.' Afterwards, the people admitted that
the store was out of 'You totally embarrassed us' signs." --Conan O'Brien
"This morning, Barack
Obama entered the Oval Office for the first time as president and he spent ten
minutes alone. Yep. Shows you how things have changed. When President Bush
spent ten minutes alone in the Oval Office, it was called a time-out." --Conan
O'Brien
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