"President Obama announced yesterday that he's pardoning 12
convicted felons. Political experts say the move could have huge implications
for your fantasy football teams." –Seth Meyers
"Russian President Vladimir Putin said at a press
conference today that it was too early to decide if he will run for re-election
in 2018. But he says it's not too early to decide how much he wins by."
–Seth Meyers
"Economists believe there are three reasons why the
Russian economy is doing so poorly. One, economic sanctions are working. Number
two, low-price oil. And number three, Lindsay Lohan has quit drinking
vodka." –David Letterman
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