"This is official today. China has surpassed the U.S. and
now has the No. 1 economy in the world. After hearing this, China's children
asked, 'So now can we take a lunch break?'" –Conan O'Brien
"The birthrate in the United States is at an all-time low.
Whereas our death rate is still holding strong at 100 percent." –Jimmy
Kimmel
"Prince William and Kate Middleton are in New York City.
We have got to do something about immigration." –David Letterman
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