"During an interview, former President George W. Bush
discussed his painting hobby and said, 'Never paint your wife or your mother.'
Then he added, 'Because it's almost impossible to get the paint out of their
hair.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Among the top Google searches of 2014 were Ebola and the
movie 'Frozen.' One leaves you with something highly infectious that's
impossible to get out of your system. The other is Ebola." –Conan O'Brien
"The hackers who hacked into Sony have leaked the upcoming
script for the new James Bond movie. Some of the executives said the news left
them shaken but not stirred." –Conan O'Brien
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