"What
the difference between the government and Motel 6? Motel 6 can afford to keep
the lights on." –Jay Leno
"Yesterday, Iran's President Hassan Rouhani said he wants
the Iranian people to stop chanting 'Death to America' because he thinks it's
too harsh of a statement. Then the Iranian people were like, 'Paper cuts to
America?" Jimmy Fallon
"Today
was day 10 of the government shutdown. At what point do we politely ask Canada
to govern us?" –Jimmy Kimmel
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