"At least here in America, crucial agencies like the U.S.
Border Patrol are still on the job. That's a good thing. The last thing we need
is an influx of Canadians, with their politeness and a government that's open
every day." –Craig Ferguson
"The shutdown means the national zoo is closed. Who'll
feed the animals? Is anyone even there to lock them up at night? Pretty soon
starving lions and tigers could charge out of the zoo. They'd devour the
fattest, dumbest people on Capitol Hill. Actually that might be the answer to
all of the problems." –Craig Ferguson
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