Cruz is filibustering a squirrel (that's not really an achievement)

"After 16 days the government shutdown is over. Right now a devastated Ted Cruz is filibustering a squirrel on the lawn of the Capitol building." –Jimmy Kimmel 



"Some of these guys in Congress are acting like this is a big achievement. If you pick up a gun and don't shoot yourself in the leg with it, that's not really an achievement." –Jimmy Kimmel
 


“Yesterday John McCain said the government shutdown was worse than the one in '95. That's 1795. He was 44 at the time, cleaning a musket for his son.” –Conan O’Brien