"Kim Jong Il just turned 70 years old — but he doesn't look a day over crazy." –Craig Ferguson
"President Obama met with Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg in Silicon Valley yesterday. Zuckerberg said he could create new jobs. The bad news? They're all in Farmville." –Conan O'Brien
"The other day on 'Live With Regis and Kelly,' First Lady Michelle Obama said she was expecting jewelry on Valentine's Day. Of course, she said, 'You can't go wrong with jewelry.' Lindsay Lohan said, 'Oh, yeah, you can.'" –Jay Leno
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