"A flight attendant was fired from Virgin Airlines for placing a baby in an overhead compartment. To be fair, the baby did not fit under the seat." –Conan O'Brien
"Today the Italian Prime Minister underwent 4 hours of dental surgery. It was his 2nd-longest oral procedure of the day." –Conan O'Brien
"Airlines are considering charging for reclining seats. Also, your scrotum now counts as a carry-on bag." –Stephen Colbert
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