This makes Charlie Sheen our most decorated veteran

"Experts say that what happened in Egypt proves that countries in the Middle East can move toward democracy without the U.S. invading them. George W. Bush said, 'Now you tell me.'" –Jay Leno



"Watson the computer crushed its human opponents on 'Jeopardy.' This is the greatest victory of machine over man since the election of Arnold Schwarzenegger." –Jay Leno



"Forty years since the War on Drugs began. This makes Charlie Sheen our most decorated veteran." –Jay Leno