"On a trip to Israel, Sarah Palin asked the Israelis why they're apologizing all the time. They responded saying, 'Because we told everyone Tina Fey was coming.'" –Conan O'Brien
"Donald Trump says he will run for president. He'll have to find a cabinet position for that thing on his head." –David Letterman
"Donald Trump says that if he's elected president, he won't let the presidency interfere with the Miss Universe pageant." –David Letterman
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