If that works, they're going to try that here on Charlie Sheen

"They said the radioactive plume came here today. Just be happy that something traveled 5,000 miles across the Pacific and for once it wasn't your job." –Bill Maher

"The head of Tokyo Electric today broke down in tears during his news conference. But to keep that in perspective, he's known around the office over there as John Boehner-san." –Bill Maher



"They're using high-pressure water cannons and helicopters dropping seawater to try to cool down the reactor. And they say if that works, they're going to try that here on Charlie Sheen." –Bill Maher