Who can even remember who wired the global financial system to a roulette wheel, while jacked on enough cocaine to bring down a bison? (Make Jobs, Not War)

"It's been five years since the economic meltdown. And while even I used to be mad at Wall Street -- at this point, who can even remember who wired the global financial system to a roulette wheel, while jacked on enough cocaine to bring down a bison?" –Stephen Colbert

"GOP civil war -- of course the first thing they'll have to fight over is which side gets the Confederate flag." –Stephen Colbert

I’m going on vacation next week. Donald Trump is planning a vacation, too. On Wednesday, he’s going to Vietnam. Apparently, his bone spurs are retractable, like cat’s claws. --Stephen Colbert

 

"Since the brutal presidential election, there's been a lot of soul searching going on at Fox News. I am confident that they will eventually find one." –Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Satan said he tries to avoid American politics because it makes him feel dirty (How conservative is he?)

“How conservative is he? Rick Santorum won't even take soda in the can.” –Jay Leno

“Rick Santorum is so anti-gay, he won't even eat a Hershey bar if it has nuts.” –Jay Leno

“Rick Santorum is conservative; he's so conservative he won't even use a weed whacker. That's how conservative.” –Jay Leno

“In fact, Santorum is so conservative he won't even let the UPS guy handle his package. That's how conservative.” –Jay Leno

“He's so conservative he wants ballpark franks to stop plumping when you cook 'em. That's how conservative.” –Jay Leno

“This guy is really conservative. In fact, Rick Santorum is so conservative he won't even go down on an escalator.” –Jay Leno

"This guy Santorum is very conservative. Rick Santorum is so conservative he won't watch a baseball game because there's a pitcher and a catcher." –Jay Leno

“Rick Santorum's tax returns show that last year, he paid double the tax rate that Mitt Romney paid. Romney is much more clever with the deductions. He writes off poor people.” –Jay Leno

"Santorum says that Satan has his sights set on the United States of America. And today Satan said he tries to avoid American politics because it makes him feel dirty." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Donald Trump Jr. is the only guy who claims himself as a dependent (Can you subpoena a mannequin?)

February 2023

“We are looking ahead to possible indictments from a Georgia grand jury over Donald Trump’s attempted election interference in Georgia. Probably the most that will happen is Trump’s lawyers will have another opportunity to file nuisance objections and delay the verdict, which is basically Trump’s strategy for everything. He’s almost 80 – if he can keep delaying long enough, he can get the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“In other Trump legal news, the special counsel looking into the events of January 6th issued subpoenas for Ivanka Trump and her husband, Jared Kushner. I don’t know what the point of subpoenaing Ivanka is – you know she is just going to plead the Saks Fifth. And serving Jared raises some important and interesting legal questions like, can you subpoena a mannequin?” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Meanwhile, the former president is trying to exploit the disaster in East Palestine. On Wednesday, he dropped off crates of Trump-branded bottled water, and faced tough questions for his administration’s rollback in 2018 of a rule that would have required better braking systems on trains carrying hazardous materials. So now, dummy who could’ve stayed out of this whole thing, is being held responsible for making safety last. But fortunately for him, he’s got an ardent defender in one Donald J. Jr. Appearing virtually on Fox News, the Trump’s eldest son complained about Pete Buttigieg: ‘There is no accountability. There’s not even expectation of these guys doing their jobs.’ And what is your job exactly?” I mean, seriously, besides yelling at your laptop, what is it that you do for a living? What do you write on your tax returns? ‘Son’? Donald Trump Jr. is the only guy who claims himself as a dependent.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

I’m pretty sure Sean Hannity is one (Twenty days late! I’m glad he’s not an EMT)

February 2023

As the transportation secretary, Pete Buttigieg, finally visited the site of the devastating toxic train derailment in East Palestine, Ohio, nearly three weeks after the disaster. Twenty days late! I’m glad he’s not an EMT.” —Stephen Colbert

“And it looks like Buttigieg knows he acted slowly, as the transportation secretary admitted to reporters that he ‘could have spoken out sooner’.  Adding, ‘And I would’ve been here earlier but traffic was a mess, trains are a disaster, all the flights were cancelled – someone should really deal with this country’s transportation!’” —Stephen Colbert

“Fox News, it’s important to give them their props when they deserve it. And here’s the thing: it’s a 24-hour news channel, and that can be hard to fill. We salute their ability to just invent outrage out of absolutely nothing on a slow news day. This week, the network dug down deep, tossed aside any last scraps of journalistic integrity, and yanked out a new dumb thing to pretend to be mad at. And because I also need something to talk about every night, I’m going to pretend to be mad at them for pretending to be mad about it. The latest invented controversy? New Lego characters with different skin tones, limb differences and disabilities, or as Fox News put it: ‘Lego is going woke!’ I don’t know why Fox is so upset about seeing representation in Legos. After all, I’m pretty sure Sean Hannity is one.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

eels flyswatter jools holland live 28/3/2000

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Russell Brand: Oh Sh*t, They’re Piloting This!

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

There is no way he’s getting away this time (It’s gonna be a long campaign)

February 2023

“In other news, Donald Trump visited East Palestine, Ohio to meet with community members disrupted by the toxic train derailment earlier this month. It’s not every day you get to see a train wreck talking about a train wreck. After turning the visit into a campaign rally, Trump passed out Maga hats at a local McDonald’s. It’s gonna be a long campaign.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Former president Trump visited the beleaguered town, which has experienced mass wildlife death since the ‘controlled’ burn of vinyl chloride following the crash. It’s fitting that he’s trying to restart his campaign in East Palestine because, much like the fish there, it’s dead in the water.” —Stephen Colbert

“Meanwhile, a grand jury in the Georgia election case against Trump appears to have recommended multiple indictments. There is no way he’s getting away this time, unless he does that thing where he always gets away every time.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”