He’ll be replaced by the current number two republican in the senate (the dishes are piling up at home)

Mitch McConnell, seen here walking out of the theater after watching 12 Years a Slave, announced he will step down in November. He’ll be replaced by the current number two republican in the senate, a frozen embryo holding an assault rifle. —Colin Jost

After Nikki Haley’s poor showing in Michigan, pressure is mounting on her to drop out of the race, but mostly because the dishes are piling up at home. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

States are too busy deciding that life begins in the freezer section! (he can’t even say the word Russia without climaxing)

The Supreme Court ruled unanimously to keep Donald Trump on all state ballots. The justices said that since different states have different standards for insurrection, conflicting state outcomes would lead to chaos. Yes, you can’t just let states decide who goes on the ballots? States are too busy deciding that life begins in the freezer section! —Stephen Colbert

There have been some weird campaign appearances by Trump in which he appeared to speak gibberish. Apparently, he can’t even say the word Russia without climaxing. —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Jon Stewart, you owe me five bucks! Pay up! (testicle festival)

The Supreme Court scheduled arguments for the week of 22 April and said proceedings in the trial court would remain frozen until then. That makes it a total of 19 weeks of delays. These proceedings have been frozen for so long, they legally count as children in Alabama. —Stephen Colbert

The decision comes after an appeals court ruled unanimously against Trump’s claim that presidents have total immunity from prosecution, including if they ordered the assassination of a political rival. Though arguments will be heard in April, decisions would not be released until June, which would push the trial to late September or October, in the heart of the election. That’s terrible news for democracy, but fantastic news for television. All of the plotlines will come together at once for the thrilling conclusion of … America. —Stephen Colbert

“Yesterday, President Biden had his annual physical exam, and good news: He’s alive! Jon Stewart, you owe me five bucks! Pay up!” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The top theory so far being the guy yelling, AAAAAHHHHHHH! (Now, if he can only remember his ATM code)

Boeing announced that the head of their troubled 737 Max program is leaving the company after he was sucked out of an emergency exit. —Colin Jost

New York City police are trying to determine the owner of a human leg found abandoned on a Bronx subway track. The top theory so far being the guy yelling, AAAAAHHHHHHH! —Colin Jost

The Alabama Supreme Court ruled that embryos created through IVF are children and that black embryos can be tried as adults. —Colin Jost

It was reported that President Biden’s campaign ended its January fund-raising with $56 Million in the bank. Now, if he can only remember his ATM code. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”